I don't know where to write. I used to do it at twitter. I wrote a couple poems, but that was not enough. My anxiety is eating me up like a bug. I can't stop thinking about, not eating anymore, skiping days of meals. I need to stop watching music artists, I need to stop trying to be a celebrity, or a youtuber. This is so millenial vibes, but I can't do anything else. I cannot begin to describe how unimaginably hard is for me to bear the simple idea of trying. I have a bunch of ideas, I try so fucking hard, but I have to forget about them, because they will hurt like hell. Nothing can compare to the pain of hating to be alive. I rather break a bone, I rather having a fucked up ankle all over again. I lost a bestfriend, I lost a social environment, but I guess the art of losing isn't supposed to be hard to master. But I guess I'm losing my mind. I'm super fuckinh high, I should be asleep for now. I wanna play some more, but I'm about to pass out. I have no idea how to get close to happiness, it seems impossible for someoen who liver nearly 30 years living like this. I hate my rucking past. I have nothing to write anymore.
[1mo]
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